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This summer, I have been participating in a terrific webinar program offered by Common Ground in partnership with Parenting in Place. Helping Families Thrive in Challenging Times is a nine-week Zoom-based class featuring panelists and experts from around the country. The cohort of over 500 parents gathers to discuss parenting topics such as summer camp, race and societal turmoil, and screen time for children.
Here are a few of my key takeaways from each session so far.
Summer Without Camp
Camps are not running like they were in previous years. Children are at home instead of playing at the local park or socializing with friends. Parents are encouraged to build play into the day. It is also important to allow time just to be together, such as dinner around the table, cooking together, reading together, and puzzles.
Advice for parents included planning with your workplace the times you can be totally present and when you are unavailable. It was also suggested that you plan with your significant other who is doing what. When you make a plan, you don’t end up staying up late to get tasks done.
It is okay to set non-negotiables as a family, i.e. eating meals together, exercising every day, chores, etc. Think about your goals and what you want to look back on.
It is also important to think about what your kids and family need to function well. What supplies do you need to keep everyone engaged? Hot glue guns, rubber bands, etc. If they are engaged in something they are learning, Feel free to give them a little more freedom, and allow them to build resilience and their own self-confidence.
Talking to kids about race and societal turmoil over systemic racism
Four authors of color joined forces to discuss and share how to talk to our students about race. These conversations can feel so big, overwhelming, and scary for people. However, there are lots of moments and opportunities to talk about this. It will not be just one big conversation, it will be several organic thoughtful ones.
What are we teaching non-black children about race? Helping children notice who is left out of commercials, movies, your environment, etc.
We have to teach our children to see color and understand that there is nothing wrong with this. If you don’t see color, you don’t see people. We have to acknowledge our differences in a positive and constructive manner.
Talk about being an upstander which is not a racial thing, be a decent human being, someone with compassion, etc. Surprisingly, Google is a great resource - type what you want into the search engine. Here are a few other resources as well:
Screen Time: Understanding, mentoring, and making peace with kids' use of tech
There is a different way to think of screen time than the way we have been conditioned to.
It is not all the same thing. A mapping app or a recipe app is not the same as a movie or sending an email. We should look at tech in different ways and understand that it is being used in different ways-skillfully and not.
The students’ qualitative experience means a lot. If they are playing Dance Dance Revolution or taking a taekwondo class, is that really high tech? Zumba classes online are encouraging. The question is, “Is this creative time for them or consumption?” Watching a family-friendly show or a thought-provoking movie may not be a bad idea, and you have the opportunity to possibly hook them on a positive app like Calm or interest them in a movie from your past (a great time to indoctrinate kids), as well as an opportunity to see what is in their world.
For many students tech is a lifeline right now, so we have to back off of judging our parenting. Think how much worse it would be if we didn’t have Zoom, Zoom Boggle, Kahoot, email, and even Minecraft. Seniors would be isolated if we didn’t have technology. The important question to ask is “What is my child’s mood like when they wrap up that hour of that game or finish watching that movie?” Is there fatigue? Is there a loss of interest in usual things? Focus on this. We can’t expect children to have sustained attention on Zoom. There will be a lot of parallel play and we can even expect this from teens.
We are using tech to stay alive and sustain our social well-being. It is good for our mental health to have these connections. What are the different ways tech is being used throughout the day? If kids like cooking shows, they should be making dinner. If they are watching science shows, are they able to teach us the skills and replicate what they are learning?
During the pandemic, try not to worry about spending more time indoors. Bring the outside in. Create a beach, a forest, or a campsite using what you have. Get a bird app and learn about birds. Throw a sheet over the dining room table and some pillows underneath and turn it into a reading fort (or puzzles or drawing). Let the kids decorate it and it could even be a great calming corner (pillows, flashlights).
As the masterclass continues, I look forward to sharing more of my takeaways.
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